by Mark Stein
5 Surefire Ways to Undoubtedly Make Your Best Year Happen
Hypnosis for a New Life
Does this sound like you? You sense that you have lost your direction, you see that your life is not going the direction you want it to, and you hear people asking why you are not reaching your goals. Well, the good news is that we are creatures of habit prone to falling into patterns of programming and we can have choice over the route of that programming. Maybe you are finding yourself on the couch watching too much television or maybe you see that you have gained weight or maybe people are asking you why you seem down. Well these patterns can stop with you just like they started with you in the first place. Look, let’s become aware of how we can reverse these patterns and realize our goals so that we can have the best year ever.
1. Control Your Emotions!
State and frame control are probably the very most important foundational NLP skill sets and yet at the same time these are probably the two most under drilled, under focused upon skill sets for one to have. While these skills are nothing meaning they simply come from within us, they are also everything that we generate our worlds from. Nothing really will work for us if we do not manage our states. Think about this for a second, how much could you get done at work when you are tired and lack energy to get through your day? Not much I’d suspect. That being said and of course this being an extreme example, most everyone goes through their day mindlessly subject to other people’s states and simply reacting to other people’s conditions rather than maintaining their own desired condition. It is essential to bring people into your own state in order to get rapport with them. This can only be achieved either by interrupting their pattern by way of having the stronger frame and dragging them into your state or by matching and mirroring their state first and then gracefully easing them into your state. It is absolutely essential to develop your own desired states and then have the flexibility to manage them and maintain your frame when interacting with others. There isn’t enough room to discuss drills here other than the suggestion to first become dramatically aware of your own internal states and frames and to take ownership of them.
2. Watch Your Language!
Your parents always told you this in regards to bad words. Well what if you were told that the bad words we say as children we can still say as adults? These words of course are not vulgar words, but rather negative, limiting words that we can say to ourselves each and every day. These words become like glue that sticks us and keeps us locked into our unwanted condition almost like guiding us forward within the same place that we want to get out of. Have you ever caught yourself saying “I always do this”, or “I can’t do that”, or “this always happens when”, or “never has this been such and such”, and on and on and on we are almost like our own worst hypnotists simply, negatively keeping ourselves stuck within this self fulfilling and enduring condition. What if you were to remove these limiting language patterns from your vocabulary and replace them with the words, “it has been my experience up until now that I have not been able to do this”, or it “it has been my experience that up until now I have done that”. Can you feel the difference between the two? What we need to do as human beings is remove ourselves from the glue to which is our language and replace it with empowering language of possibility. Whether in the form of self talk or talk to others, watch out for these imprisoning words.
3. Are You Moving Towards or From?
The only true reactions we are born with are fight vs. flight. This means to say that we are fundamentally hard wired to avoid pain and seek pleasure. Interestingly, astonishingly enough study after study continues to tell us that we are more fundamentally and globally influenced by loss than gain. This means to say that if a person was presented an offer that showed that they could save $1000 per year by buying a product or if they could avoid losing $1000 per year by using a product the dominant action was taken by those who wanted to avoid loss. What has been truly lost by humans in this process is that we can become foundationally risk adverse in this process and through these patterned behaviors we have missed out on the potential opportunities to gain. Countless people have expressed that they won’t get involved with another person because of fear of getting hurt, or not starting up a venture because they might lose money. Obviously there might be valid, reasonable arguments to be made for not engaging altogether, but it is curious to think how many lost opportunities have been left on the table by people who unconsciously placed the favor of their actions on the side of risk avoidance versus opportunity seeking. Perhaps the best advice could be to say to yourself each and every time you ponder not going for something, “don’t miss out on this potential opportunity”.
4. What are You Looking At?
It is true that we process information in the form of symbols. This is true because our mind makes representations of what we see and stores it within the subconscious mind in this form. What this shows us is that it is imperative to visualize success and what we actually want each and every day. Orr’s Law says that, “What the thinker thinks, the prover proves.” We can borrow this metaphor to explain the interplay between the conscious and subconscious mind. If we accept which we do that the subconscious mind is 90% of patterns and behaviors it tells us that what the subconscious believes it will move out in actions representing its own internal images. Basically, this means that our subconscious mind can be tricked into naturally and effortlessly behaving in the way that we want to consciously. Of course true change happens over the repetition of this process in 21 days. The other aspect of visualization is that of manifestation of our intent. Intent is the product of our will and focus. This is an advanced skill set but the main point is that people who reach their goals actually see them happening in their minds eye before they happen. The best golfer in the game today claims that he visualizes his ball flight, path, and trajectory before it happens thus infusing his intent of what he wants to happen before it actually happens. Timeline work is extremely powerful for success in realizing and programming in your goals.
5. Incantations and Celebrations
My very favorite daily affirmation is that of the great Emile Coue who said, “In each and every day, in every way I am getting better and better”. And if you are truly working daily and earnestly towards your goals and improving yourself in the process then this is a wholeheartedly, positive, and meaningful truism that your mind can continue to grow and build from. Of course anyone who is serious about personal development and has engaged in its process can look back to a year ago and become keenly aware of how much “better” they indeed are today in comparison. Every day take the time to celebrate all your wins no matter how small they are. Maybe you took a big step in the office or in your social life or took a chance on something you wouldn’t a year ago. Whatever the step is it is meaningful because it is progress in the right direction to the eventual realization of your goals. The Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu said, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step”. A college professor once told me, “In life you can do things here the easy way or the right way.” Recently, my mentor, David Snyder told me, “The shortest easiest path to power often appears to be the longest and most difficult.”
Of course all of this is so true. Never, ever stop learning, growing, celebrating steps, managing your emotional states, visualizing your outcomes, watching your language, building and moving in the direction of what it is that you want. Whatever your goal is, you will find it because if you want it badly enough you can keep taking steps towards it and the more steps you take the closer you are arriving at your destination. I truly love the world of hypnosis and NLP because it is the world of endless possibility wherein you can create a whole, unique world filled with whatever it is that you actually desire and it just gets better. Here’s to making this next year your best ever!
