By Beth Keil
I realize that this is a popular refrain from a Bon Jovi song, but it’s a question worth asking ourselves. In September I had the opportunity to go Brooklyn, NY where I grew up. I returned for an elementary school reunion which included people from Junior High. This was a reunion I started as I had wondered over these many years what happened to the people I grew up with and whose faces I saw in the pictures my mom had kept in a scrapbook. Admittedly Facebook was the prime source of finding people. Not everyone was on Facebook but someone who knew them was. Fifty-eight people who graduated from elementary school in 1970 were found and 23 attended the reunion.
Many times I was asked why I wanted to go to an elementary school reunion. Some never heard of having an elementary school reunion; high school yes, but not one from that far back. I shared about the pictures I had and wondering how those people were now. There were a few people I shared more with—as a hypnotist I know events from childhood have a profound influence on our perceptions and feelings. I had my own perceptions that impacted choices I made over these years and was interested in really looking at what they were and where they began. It was in conversations (virtual and actual) that I began exploring my past, what would be called a waking regression versus one done with hypnosis. Listening to what others had to say would jog memories and in some cases all the hurt I felt from all those years ago flooded back. I friended someone through Facebook, someone I had only one memory of back in the schoolyard in 1968. It was in the mutual exploration of our memories I would find myself having visceral reactions to these memories, my voice filling with emotion. It was as if I had awakened a part of me that lay dormant all these years waiting for this moment to surface and be let go of. I’ve witnessed this process time after time with the clients I work with so I knew to trust the process and let things surface so I could move through the thoughts and feelings, realize what there was to know, be able to forgive, and heal.
I knew I wasn’t alone. I heard in the many IMs, Facebook messages, and conversations over the phone that others were wrestling with the past, too. Some people didn’t want to go back to the past. Others let themselves open up to the possibility that this process of the reunion, whether they came or not, may help them with the pain they felt while growing up and still carried. Witnessing this transformation was, for me, amazing and a testament to their courage. One classmate in particular comes to mind—seeing them the day of the reunion, the excitement in their eyes, the fun they were having, and reconnections they made was indescribable. The fear of coming and being a part of this event melted away.
So, can you go home again?
I say “yes”. But here’s what to bring along with you—-an open heart, be willing to feel your emotions, have a supportive and loving someone walk along with you, to let your adult self let your younger self know what you wish you would have known or understood back then, be willing to forgive and let the past be healed. Here’s to the class of 1970!
