How to Help Clients with a Broken Heart

by Elronn Ferguson

A woman looks out her window, hoping to see him drive home once more. A man stares at his phone, wishing she would call. Thoughts invade their minds at all times, causing severe emotional pain and sadness. Other people notice and become concerned, trying to help, but there is little relief as the pain just seems to go on forever…

Whatever the circumstance, whatever the sexual orientation, heart break is one of those things that can bring a person to their knees. If you have had the chance to work with this issue, or to experience it yourself, then reading this article will be of great benefit to you and your future clients.

Out of the plethora of issues we work on, a broken heart can totally unzip a person, making for a shattered self esteem and possible self destructive behavior. During this time, health is usually affected, work can become difficult, and any number of negative predispositions or symptoms can also become exacerbated.

When you know how to deal with this issue successfully, you will be doing your clients a lot of good that can help them use this circumstance to build a much stronger self, and ultimately become a more resilient and resourceful person themselves.

To become proficient at working with broken hearts, we are going to embark on a three part article/guide. First, we are going to talk about setting yourself up as the obvious expert when making first contact and getting them to see you. Second we will explore what to do when conducting the first interview, and building rapport and hope. In the last part, we will discuss techniques to use, resources to recommend, and suggestions to give your client to help them move on and take advantage of this tremendous opportunity for personal growth.

A lot of times, your average person won’t consider using hypnosis to help themselves get over the loss of a relationship, opting for the more traditional approach. If you can become known in the community for handling this issue successfully, it also helps to shift the collective mindset to become more open to the other possibilities of what hypnosis might be capable of.

To begin, here is an outline of steps, tips, and other things to keep in mind during the first contact, whether it’s over the telephone or in person.

The First Contact

1. Instill Confidence

   • When the client call us up or talks to you, a lot of times they are curious if hypnosis can really help them with this issue. Immediately tell them, "yes, I do that all the time". This will put them at ease and let them know they are in capable hands.

   • Ask questions and listen. I like to start by asking them to tell me about the situation, as this encourages them to open up and lets you build rapport. Even if you haven’t done this before, convey that hypnosis is effective for this issue, as this will build relief and hope from the benefits of your services.

   • Remember that a broken heart is just like any other issue, and once they come into see us, we will help them reclaim their perceptions to a rational, proportional level. Tell them immediately that there is nothing but relief ahead of them.

2. Getting them to choose you:

   • Ask them how this circumstance is affecting their life, and find the pain. When they tell the areas of their life that are affected, it helps them come more in contact with that feeling and makes it apparent that they deserve to resolve it.

   • Find out how they want to feel and let them know that they CAN have balanced and proportional emotions about the whole thing. This contrast between the pain and the desired state will help them realize the consequences of not taking action and make them more compelled to work with you.

   • Remember to ask them if this has ever happened before, and if it did, what did they do to address it then? This not only will this help you to qualify them for your services, it will also become another benefit you can highlight that they may have not fully realized. A lot of times the client just thinking about their current situation, and having the additional thought of it happening or NOT happening again can help them make a decision to work with you. Ideally, when you work on this issue, you can help the client step out of the relationship pattern they have been stuck in.

3. Create Anticipation:

   • Tell them that their issue is temporary. Tell a story of someone just like them that overcame this issue. Remind them that experiencing this can be a doorway to more satisfying relationships, a more satisfying life and overall, a much stronger sense of self. This will help them look forward to the first session and excite the imagination and subconscious mind to start working on internal solutions before you even begin the work and make them feel glad they called.

   • Give away a nugget. Give suggested reading or an exercise to do, such as journaling about their strengths or even something as mundane as organizing their closet. This helps to encourage action and involvement so we can hit the ground running in our first session.

Anything you can do to generate hope before the first session will only increase your results with this client. Remember, when the client contacts you they can sometimes be in a state of waking hypnosis, making this a perfect opportunity to plant the first seeds for future outcomes in their subconscious mind. In the next edition, we will go into the do’s and don’ts during the first interview which takes place right before the hypnosis session. There are some key elements that you will want to keep in mind as you direct them to unlock the resources that can help them mend their heart, mind and spirit.